Sunday Update: Hospice

11756943_10206418615760883_1602654673_oMy great nephew and I are on a plane from NC to Iowa, coming home from vacation.  We swam a lot, walked even more, ate well and had a great time.

We considered not going because my mom is so sick.  She insisted I take that 10 year old boy to NYC and have a great time, she’d be here when we got back.  We talk several times every day and last week she said when I got back she wanted to go on hospice.  No more hospital visits.  It was just too much for her.  I said ok.  It’s her life after all, and she gets to say what she wants.

This morning she told me she was still here, but she didn’t know for how long.  Her nurse and my friend said it’s time to let her really call the shots.  So tonight we put her on hospice.  I don’t know how long we are talking, I don’t know much at all as I sit here on this plane.  I only know it won’t be long now, and I can’t stop crying.

If you pray, don’t pray for me.  Pray that my mom’s journey is as smooth as it can be. Don’t tell me you are sorry.  I know that already.  Go hug your own loved ones.  Think of my mom and smile – because that is what she would want.

And for God’s sake, put that cigarette down.  Mom is losing her battle with COPD and Congestive Heart Failure – each cigarette she smoked hastened that journey.



  1. Barb on August 2, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Prayers for your dear Mom. She is such a sweetheart & you’re a marvelous daughter, Deb!

  2. Katie on August 2, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    But I am sorry. I know this isn’t easy for you.

  3. deb on August 3, 2015 at 1:31 am

    Thanks guys —

  4. Beth Ann Chiles on August 3, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    I am so glad your mom insisted you take that trip to NYC because I am can tell from your pictures and posts that it was definitely the right thing to do and your mom loved knowing that. The upcoming weeks are going to be difficult for you both but I do know the care that Hospice gives is beyond none and if it is what your mom wants at this point it is a blessing to you as well. Know that you will BOTH be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep making memories with her as long as you can—you are such a wonderful daughter and have so many wonderful memories that will keep her with you always. Hugs.

  5. Denise Mendenhall on August 3, 2015 at 4:12 pm


    There are few “kids” regardless of age as devoted as you. I’ve learned choosing terms is the one last thing we can give those we love and honor it, though it is damn hard at times on us but it is our act of obedience as kids – and it may be viewed by some as a final one. Hospice is there not just for your mother but for you too in addition to your close circle of friends.

    I’ve lost most everyone I truly treasure in life now, and know the pain far too well so my prayers must go for both of you. I’ve walked this road far too many times.

    Please know I am here if you need me. Love & hugs to both you and your mother.


  6. Jean on August 3, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    It’s really a special time to be so engaged and attentive to this part of her journey. We are privileged to walk with people who have come this far in lives well lived. The aches in our hearts are real, of course, but such an honest recognition of the values they’ve brought to our own lives. A sharp contrast to people lost in accidents – that has a different sort of feel inside. This has a “rightness” about it that settles around you almost like a blanket. My hope for you is that you and she are wrapped with support that is palpable when you stop to feel it. A merciful and soft transition for her journey and yours.

  7. Katy on August 3, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    Hugs to you! Prayers for everyone! And praises that she is with Hospice…what an amazing organization, but more so, praises that we know that she soon will be at comfort, peace, and no pain! What a beautiful gift to know that she gets to live eternally with Him!

  8. deb on August 4, 2015 at 11:34 am

    thank you all.

  9. Karen on August 5, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    *touching foreheads*

  10. Judy Harper on August 5, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    Thinking of your mom and the rest of the family. Rest assured that your mom has planned for this last journey.

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