Me, Invisible

Alberich puts on the Tarnhelm and vanishes; il...Image via Wikipedia

I’ve been thinking.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you are trying to tell them something. All they keep doing is one upping you. Here’s an example.

Me – I am going to Atlantic City! To the ocean!

Them – Wow, I went there once. I went to Vegas it was a whole lot more fun. Did I tell you about my cat? She’s needs this surgery and its all my husband’s fault. blah blah blah

This has been happening to me a lot lately. I feel invisible in the conversation. It’s not really a conversation. It’s a one sided presentation.

I believe we teach people how to treat us. That would also mean we teach people how to talk to us. Complete strangers tell me their problems. You need to know something? Let me go talk to that person – I’ll find out their life story. All it takes is a few well placed questions – and a good ear to listen.

If I’ve created the way this person is talking to me, then do have any room to complain? No, not really. I’ve set up a relationship where I am the listener, the problem solver. The other person is the complainer, the person with a problem. It has worked for me to be seen as the one who can fix anything.

It’s not working anymore.

I’m not paying attention to the things I need to work on. I had found a way to avoid my own problems by being the person who could solve everyone else’s problems.

The thing is, I also made myself invisible in the process. That used to work for me. It doesn’t anymore.

I’m on vacation this week and taking a relaxing look at where I’m going. The first thing I’m going to be doing is flying MY flag higher! Got any other suggestions for me?

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  1. Keri on August 8, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Loved this article. Made me think which is always good. I've never been to Atlantic City or sat on Atlantic shore and read "Conversations…" Keri

  2. Deb Brown on August 8, 2009 at 11:58 am

    Thanks for stopping by Keri. The shore is pretty cool. I'm going crabbing tomorrow! It's great to wind down. Have to stop the monkey mind from thinking of what I SHOULD be doing…